Hey Guys. So today I had a little brotherly-sister bonding time.. You won't be seeing him in any of these photos though because he's the photographer! Not to mention how camera shy he is... Heh. Anywho, Today we pretty much brainstormed Christmas gifts, ate at Ramen Ya for a yummy lunch, and came home. Nothing too exciting.
Btw, someone mentioned that I've been looking really upset lately. That my eyes lack "joy" or spirit. And it's a little true. I've just been going through this really depressing slump and every time I try to smile in pictures, it comes off as forced or fake. So I kinda gave up for now. I AM EMBRACING MY SADNESS. HEHEHEHHEHEHE.
BUT! Before you feel any dissapointment towards "miss-trying-to-be-positive-happy-krizko" let me explain that I realized it was too difficult trying to force my sad feelings into happiness, because it really isn't that simple. Let alone, preventing these unhappy feelings from coming.. Instead, it's way better to expect that the tough time you're going through, will not be an easy ride. You just need to be prepared to take care of yourself, and be reminded that things aren't so bad. So this is what I'm doing. I thought that maybe if I play with the fact of how mopey-upset I am, I'll realize how silly it is, and how much energy is wastes in the end.
For example, while I am stuffing my face with comfort food, and the slightest feeling of heartache creeps into my chest, I will literally make the most obnoxious and un-attractive crying face while eating. Sometimes even noises too. I'll look at myself in the mirror, and realize how stupid it is. Then I end up laughing it off and feeling better. As silly as this sounds, it really works. Healing your hurt with humor.....
(PREPARE FOR LONG DEPRESSING BABBLINGS! Too long to read, skip if you're not here to listen)
It makes sense that they say the funniest people in the world could also be the most depressed. Because humor is a common defense mechanism..? Constantly trying to make others and yourself laugh to keep yourself from crying. I know the feeling of trying to keep your mind occupied all day, being afraid of night time coming around because you then realize your energy is growing short, and you know that you need to spend every last bit of it until you knock out and go to bed. No one likes those few minutes before falling asleep because everything that you've been holding in, every nervous laugh and forced smile was made in hopes of minimizing the impact of pain you've been trying to numb down, and in those very moments where everything goes silent, everything crashes and you feel like you're laying in your deathbed. That you'll go to sleep and not wake up again. And it sucks.
But after too many repeats of this, I realized that it's so much healthier to confront your feelings, and slowly deal with it in time. Rather than avoiding it the whole day completely, and letting it all crash down in a matter of minutes. Letting this happen to you until you grow tired and cold.. It's a really scary and self destructing character that can overcome you and you never want the chance of experiencing it when your faced with a life decision.
I remember walking down the street and imagining myself crossing the road. If a car so happen to be headed in my direction, and I had that split second to decide on whether or not I'd move out of the way-
I don't know.
And that's really sad.
What if I was someone who had it worse? Someone who felt nothing but the weight on their soles?
But no. I then realized I wasn't actually alone.
There was another pedestrian a few yards ahead of me. A girl with dirty shoelaces, holding one of our school cafeteria's soggy sandwiches and bobbing her head to her blasted ipod. I could tell how hungry she was because her chipmunk cheeks were full, and that didn't stop her from trying to lip sync the words to her favorite song. I could even tell she tried slowing down a bit for me because she didn't want to press the crosswalk button and have me frantically run there to cross too. That was so nice. It's little tiny and funny things like this that make you feel like you have a purpose in life and that things happen for a reason so that you can live on and walk over them.
And that's exactly what I'm going to do.
I'm not at the point in life right now where I can lay in bed for hours comfortably and fall asleep soundly without a worry in the world. But who does? Everybody has something to worry about, something they want to change, or improve on.. anything. The main point I'm trying to say here is that every step I take will have a consequence. As I take these steps, I could drag myself across this path and be a sad walking zombie, or I could skip and hum to myself- be humorous about everything while still being careful about my steps.
(DON'T STEP ON THE LAVA LOL)
Anywho, I can go on and on with these metaphors and cheesy life lessons but I'll stop here. Thanks to those who actually read all of this. Type "I love pie" in the comments if you read this... hehehehehehe
Enjoy the rest of my post!~
1) Shrimp Fried Rice From Ramen Ya. - This was my first time having this, I usually get something soupy but the weather was humid today and the restaurant was pretty crowded, I didn't feel like sweating. Plus, I was wearing a jacket mainly because I didn't shave my armpits (LOL girlproblems#)
2) A small coke? It came with my meal, everything was $6.50 plus tax! (I think? Yay for kid meals! It's perfect for me, this restaurant has large portions, and I just wanted to eat to feel satisfied. Not bloated. lolol)
3)Sailor Moon Wallet- A present from my older sister last christmas. I'm not sure how much it was.. Using it can be a little pain sometimes because they most definitely made it to look cute, not for holding things comfortably.. hehe the pockets are so hard to get things out of! Oh well.
4) A pencil I had laying around... For a cheap pencil you would normally get in the 99 cents store, it actually has a really good quality lead and eraser! I have about 12 of these, and I always have 1-3 of them in each of my bags.
5) A little notebook! These are about 67 cents each and they are so handy. I have one in each of my bags as well. Perfect to jot/sketch ideas. reminders, shopping lists..
Btw, This might sound horrible but sometimes I get out my pencil and notebook and I skeptically look around and jot notes.. take a few bites of my food.. and take more notes.. I learned that doing so gives you better service, LOL. I am not kidding you guys. They pay so much more attention to you. I mean, I really am taking notes, but I've never taken the time to post reviews or anything online.. Maybe I should. Hm?
OR WHAT IF I ALREADY HAVE AN ANONYMOUS FOOD REVIEW BLOG HM HM HM?? jkjkjk. ;3
1) I figured out another cute way to wear my bunny wire head band! There are so many cute uses, I'll make a video soon. This is the "Japan Medley" in blue. It adds such a bright and interesting pop in outfits~ [click here to view/purchase]
2) Pink Pin-dot Hairbow!- These are the kind of bows I would give out as freebies, or in packs from my shop!~ Cute bows add a playful touch. ~ [click to shop and get freebies with every order!~]
3)Nerdy Dear Daniel Hello Kitty Double Ring- Hot Topic
4)Bottled Fairy Dark Green glitter necklace- Crystal Dreams
5) "Do you want a piece of me?!" Pin button- Hot Topic
Isn't it cute? How feisty. ψ(*｀ー´)ψ
Look at this huge and really adorable rilakkuma bear I saw while window shopping today!!! Ahhhh!! It's so cute I want it so bad why do they have to cost a fortune?!?! (´；ω；`)
This girl said my hair looked like cotton candy today.. hehehe, I fet it was appropriate to take some photos infront of these cute claw machines...
I WASTED FOUR DOLLARS TRYING TO DESPERATELY GET THAT BLACK MEERKAT STUFFED TOY IM SO SAD !! LOOK AT IT!! THEIR EYES ARE SO HUGE ITS SO CUTE!! WHY DO I HAVE TO SUCK AT THESE SORT OF THINGS?!? ヽ(●ﾟ´Д｀ﾟ●)ﾉﾟ
Peppermint Brownie Cake Pops.... I've been hearing about how delicious cake pops are, so I gave in and tried these from Starbucks. Bleh. I didn't really like it. I love sweet things but I like to have them tastefully balanced. A few of my instagram friends below said:
And I totally agree! :3 <33333
1) White butterfly netted sleeve top- Pacsun
2) Oversized jean jacket- My mothers closet, and she got it sometime in the 80-90's
3) Black and White Dotty Peplum skirt- Forever 21- My sister works here and gives me free stuff every now and then! I'm so lucky! I love her. ♡＾▽＾♡
4) Woops! I just realized I forgot to circle my black lace wrist glove! I think I got it from Claires in Highschool. And the black faux leather bag is a handy- down from my older sister.~
5) Another used for one of my wire bunny bands! You can tie it on bags and shape it into a bow. this is the "Japan Medley" in blue. [click here to view/purchase]
6)A chocolate chip cookie plush! I love safety pinning it onto random places like bags or sweaters. I get a lot of comments about it, and it brings a smile to those who notice it. It's another playful accessory you can add to any item, and let's others take a peek into your quirky style!~ I'll be making more random plush dolls in my shop soon. [click here to view and purchase] They sell out quickly so get them while they're still hot! ^-^ <3 [click to view/purchase]
7) A glowing hand sanitizer keychain from my friend Gem! <3
8)White frilly ankle lace socks- Ebay
9) Platform sneakers in black- Ebay
peace out LOL~